


Full to the Brim

by Soccus



Series: Jets love animals [3]
Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unintentional Animal Deaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2013-05-18
Packaged: 2017-12-12 06:34:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/808408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soccus/pseuds/Soccus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Aerialbots inherit the Seekers' love for all things cute 'n cuddly and Red Alert is not pleased. It started with bunnies and ended with kangaroos (with lizards thrown in for good measure).</p>
<p>G1 Crackfic</p>
            </blockquote>





	Full to the Brim

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for: more animal deaths (bunnies, bunnies and more bunnies), possible bunny incest, and crying jets (these being more believable crybabies than the previous ones).
> 
> This thing is still set in G1. 
> 
> Disclaimer: transformers and its affiliates belong to Hasbro

The day the Autobots discovered the fact that jets apparently loved anything with a so-called "beastform" was the day Optimus Prime had to rather awkwardly apologise for the actions of the Aerialbots at the Chicago Zoo.

They had noticed, of course, the strange behaviour of the Decepticon Seekers around animals on earth before (and wasn't _that_ a tough cookie to explain to try and explain to the human authorities) but they had never attributed it to the apparent fact that all jets were insane and loved _animals_ of all things. They had simply thought that Starscream, as a former scientist, was conducting all manner of immoral and dangerous experiments on the captured animals. The many dumped carcases of the animals in question didn't help. Although the prevalence of kittens and puppies amongst the captured animals had _slightly_ undermined that theory. The less paranoid members of the Autobot crew simply decided to assume that the Seekers actually liked the animals and that the other Decepticons had something to do with the deaths of the captured beings.

Now it had been proven that they hadn't been too far off the mark and some very relieved Special Ops agents had finally admitted that they had seen the Seekers giving Ravage, Laserbeak and the newly created Buzzsaw what could only be described as pampering sessions. The agents had been too embarrassed by what they had seen to report it and had subsequently all kept quiet about it.

At least apart from having to pay the Zoo some money for property damage and the "terrorising" of the animals there had been no real damage, unlike when the Decepticons struck. The Aerialbots had been reprimanded and warned from causing chaos (again) and that had been the end of the situation. Some noises had been made about using the Seekers' obsessions against them in battle but nothing had been _really_ discussed about the whole animal-love thing.

Until Sunstreaker stepped on a bunny that had mysteriously found its way into the Ark's Rec Room.

The look on his face when he the red and pink squelchy stuff had splattered onto his leg, thus onto his previously pristine paintjob would have scared Unicron himself. Sideswipe backed away slightly from his brother.

"Who let this flesh-thing into the Ark?" Sunstreaker's voice sounded calm and even to the untrained audial.

No one answered. They weren't suicidal enough to.

Unfortunately just then a frantic Fireflight rushed into the Rec Room and managed to freeze when he saw the mess that remained after Sunstreaker's ill-timed footstep.

"Nooo! Mr Foo Foo Cuddlypoops!", Firelight wailed at the top of his vocaliser and started crying.

In the face of a crying jet, some things are quite difficult to hold on to. Even righteous anger in the face of a ruined paint job; in other words even _Sunstreaker_ felt maybe the slightest bit calmer, or less likely to throw Fireflight through a wall for his mistake of losing the… whatever it had been.

That still left the problem of the crying jet.

At that moment, the Autobots showed considerable unity in thought and bearing as they simultaneously thought the same word; frag.

* * *

Red Alert was not happy.

Granted, Red Alert was never happy unless his current base of operations was in a complete lockdown with all the usual troublemakers locked up and most of Red Alert's attention trained on them and the rest spread on cameras throughout the base.

This also never happened in real life, and never would with a soft-spark like Optimus Prime in charge, but Red Alert could at least survive that.

Alien life forms in huge hordes that nibbles on cables, got electrocuted, stepped on, shot at and left horrible messes everywhere they went he really couldn't. Especially with the hysterical jets that came hand-in-hand with the deaths of their pets.

Ever since the first incident of "Death of a bunny" or as some Autobots had jokingly termed it "The Bunny Suicide" (when not in earshot of any jets), more and more bunnies had escaped from the admittedly incautious care of the Aerialbots. Apparently their little colony had started as about six bunnies, but there was a reason so many human phrases referred to the interfacing life of bunnies. The Aerialbots hadn't taken this too seriously and within a few months there had been an (almost literal) explosion in the bunny population in the Ark.

And every time Red Alert tried to get the Aerialbots to get rid of the bunnies they refused, usually getting extremely upset in the process. Now usually Red Alert would stand firm with his security guidelines in the faces of pleasing expressions but there was simply something in an upset jet that wouldn't let anyone get in their way. Not even Prowl, with his stringent logic-based ideals could manage to outright order the jets to get rid of the ever-growing bunny population.

They had managed, through some coercion, to get the most volatile jets, Fireflight, Air Raid and Slingshot, who were also least likely to listen to authority, out on an extended patrol. This meant that they could try to convince the remaining two Aerialbots to get rid of their little colony without too much of the drama that had been pervading the Ark for the past two weeks.

Well at least the command staff was attempting it. Against the most terrifying images of a frenetic Skydive and a sobbing Silverbolt they weren't making much of an impression. Not even Optimus was managing to make much headway.

* * *

Some twelve hours later, through much coercion, many cuddles and most of the army pitching in (who wanted the furry nuisances gone), and the sane two-fifths of the Aerialbots had been calmed down to a manageable level. Therefore there had been some headway with getting the bunnies permanently off the ship, much to Red Alert's delight and Prowl's relief (never mind that the Aerialbots would be able to see the blasted things at the petting zoo if it all succeeded).

It was all going _so_ well.

And then things went to the smelters when the other Aerialbots started returning.

Really, what had Red Alert been expecting? For the sane Aerialbots to be able to talk sense into the not-so-sane ones? He should have seen this coming. _Everyone_ should have seen this coming. But noo no one listened to Red Alert, did they? Everyone else had to be caught in the blinding optimism of Optimus, and his opinion that _everything_ sentient could be reasoned with.

Well never again. Not after this latest of fiascos. _Never again_.

Slingshot had been the first one back, entering the Rec Room with an expression so spark-melting that Cosmic Rust could have infected you and you'd never notice because your spark had already dribbled to puddles around your feet. In his arms had been a basket with more bunnies.

Of course all plans of abandoning their existing bunny population at a petting zoo had fallen by the wayside the moment the sane Aerialbots had spotted the newcomers.

When asked where he'd got them from Slingshot said, "Australia."

Much to everyone sane's horror he had then continued with, "The others are bringing more."

If the sugary sweet delight of the Aerialbots could have been edible, half the world would have been dead from obesity. The dismay on both Prowl and Red Alerts' faces would have killed another quarter from the excessive, choking laughter the sinking expressions would have caused.

Of course none of that compared to the expressions that both groups managed to convey, despite their metal faces, when Air Raid walked in carrying two very distressed kangaroos.

Humans would have been better eating radioactive waste than eating anything distilled from the expressions of any of the Aerialbots present at that moment.

The captive audience waited with morbid amusement while the two most sensible officers sought to compose themselves for the final blow of cuteness.

What they were expecting was an animal giant aeroplanes would find cute, and in their limited experience of what giant aeroplanes found cute they were expecting it to be fluffy and big and impossible to get rid of.

Of their expectations only one was correct; you see Aerialbots loved _all_ animals, even the ones most humans didn't traditionally find cute.

That was why their starstruck expression didn't fade when an ecstatic Fireflight came in with a rather large box, set it down, and opened it to unleash tiny little things that moved like lightning once they were out of the box and shimmered in iridescent metallic colours.

Lizards. Of course, why not? Infuriatingly hard for humans to catch, infinitely hard for giant robots and adored by all Aerialbots.

With a groan Prowl gave in to the sweet temptation of oblivion while Red Alert let out whimpers that sounded like a wounded dog.

The spectacle was completed when Sunstreaker and Tracks entered the Rec Room together, arguing about something or another, most likely their looks, only to stop in their tracks upon seeing that the Ark's name had become very literal.

Their gazes went, in tandem, from the bunnies still in the basket in Slingshot's arms, to the two still distressed kangaroos in Air Raid's hands and finally swung round to the box on the floor next to a beaming Fireflight. Some of the lizards hadn't fled at the first opportunity and their heads were warily peeking out of the box.

Track's mouth twitched. Sunstreaker's fists clenched.

The rest of the Rec Room waited with baited breath for the spectacle to unfold.

At the sight of five crazy jets and their revolting, oozing menagerie of fleshbags, they fled.

Well what did you expect? They weren't going to fight what couldn't be fought; the organic masses.

Thus the Autobots learned about more about jets than they ever wanted to, Red Alert had new reasons to fear skittering noises and flashes of movement and for once the rest of the Ark agreed with him. It still didn't make him happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Part 3 of the series with two more parts to come.
> 
> Crossposted to ff.net.
> 
> All comments are given a layer of fluff.
> 
> Eli


End file.
